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Specialty Services for Seniors
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St. Andrew's At Home
Services: The dogged independence of most Americans is a cultural heritage that does not serve us well when we are faced with the challenges of caregiving. A caregiver must have support. A caregiver must have help. Not could have . . . not should have . . . must have. The sooner you get past the notion that you can do everything for your aging Mom or Dad or Aunt Min by yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to provide good care and maintain a life of your own. The good news is that, as a society, we are becoming more aware of the need to address our aging population. Expanded services have sprung up because there is a growing market for them. Help is available.
To head off controversy as much as possible, it may be best to involve family members early in the caregiving process. Share your concerns about the elder with them and ask for their suggestions. For some families, a family meeting with the elder present makes the most sense. This offers a non-confrontational way to discuss issues and hear everyone’s viewpoint – most importantly the elder’s. This can be the elder’s chance to state important preferences and ensure that all members hear his or her wishes first hand. Family members living at some distance may be linked in by speakerphone.
Support at Your Fingertips
For families involved in caregiving, it’s important that there be flexibility and a willingness to compromise – even on the part of the elder. Maybe Grandma doesn’t want to go to Junior’s home, instead preferring to be cared for by Sis in the familiar surroundings of her own home. But Sis desperately needs a break, so maybe Grandma gets packed off for a few days. If you’re responsible – either by choice or by default – for orchestrating care by family members, be sure to be specific in your requests. Ask an out-of-town family member to call Uncle Amos every Tuesday evening. Ask Cousin Frank – who is quick to say he’s “no good around old people” – to fix the water heater or sell the unused car.
Involve a Third Party to
Support Your Caregiving Recognize that your perception of the elder’s situation may be clouded by guilt, fear, sadness or lack of knowledge. An outside professional – who understands the issues and options available – can offer practical solutions that may never have occurred to you. It’s also true that the advice of an objective outside professional may greatly influence the best possible decision and diminish family conflicts and uncertainties.
Other Sources of Help
Friends, neighbors and members of the community may be perfectly happy to help if they are asked to perform a specific task. They can also be valuable sources of information about everything from reputable handymen to substantiating the fact that Mom’s hearing seems to be getting worse. if your elder is a member of a church or temple, there may be formal or informal assistance available there. Talk to the congregation’s leader to find out if they have outreach services for older members. Investigate community-based programs such as support services, respite care or geriatric care management programs. If your elder resists help from anyone outside the family, you may need to be firm. Tell him or her that it’s something you’re going to try on a trial basis. Give your own needs as much weight as the elder’s needs. When you ask a person to provide help on a routine basis – say, taking the elder to church every Sunday – be sure to give them an out as well. Assure them that they can call you if the arrangement ceases to be workable for them. Keep a notebook of those who have volunteered help, or those who may be able to help, along with their addresses and phone numbers. If you’re going to be late for your daily after-work visit with Grandpa, and he won’t answer the phone, you’ll be grateful you’ve got the phone number of his next-door neighbor who can pop in and check on him. Many caregivers find that being part of a caregivers support group is tremendously valuable. While perhaps you can’t picture how you could fit one more thing into your schedule, you may find it is time very well spent. Give it a try. Being part of a support group can help you develop new skills, it can teach you strategies that have served others well, and it can help you deal with the stress of caregiving. Documenting a Support System
Email a St. Andrew's Care Manager for more information or to schedule a telephone consultation. If you're still unsure of what you need, or believe you would benefit from a senior care assessment call (314) 726-5766. St. Andrew's At
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St. Andrew's At Home Services is a
non-profit division of St. Andrew's Resources for Seniors -
serving older adults since 1961. Home | About St. Andrew's | Communities | At Home Services | Management Services | Eldercare & Caregiver Resource Center | Charitable Fund |
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Support From the Family 
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